


Twenty Questions

by Aurora_bee



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Blind Date, Drunk John, Drunk Texting, Drunken Shenanigans, Funny, Humor, Love Confessions, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-12
Packaged: 2017-12-11 13:56:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurora_bee/pseuds/Aurora_bee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John texts a number Greg's given him in the hopes of getting a shag.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

John was drunk, his sober mind had told him not to do it, but frustration bit at him. Earlier in the day he'd not only fallen down two flights of stairs chasing Sherlock around but he'd crushed his phone in the process. It had been the final straw when he'd found Sherlock using his favourite jumper for an experiment. John had gone to the mobile shop picked up a new one and headed straight to the pub to meet Greg. After 3 pints he'd informed Greg that he desperately needed a shag. Greg has smirked and given him a number.

"I think this is what you need." Greg had said, before John slunk off into the toilet to send a quick text.

**Hello I'm John. Greg said you might be up for some fun.  
JW**

The reply was quick, and the almost immediate beeping made John jump in the stall. He imagined quicksilver fingers tapping the keys and quivered in anticipation.

**I know who you are. I have your number in my phone.**

**Oh, right then. Not put off by me are you?  
JW**

**Certainly not. All things considered I find you rather attractive.**

**So are you going to tell me who you are?  
JW**

**Why don't we play a game? Twenty questions.**

**Fair enough. Are you small, with long brown hair and an obsession with kittens?  
JW**

**Three questions. No I am not Molly.**

**Shit, didn't think of that. So 17 left.. Are we friends?  
JW**

**Yes, Sixteen.**

**Are you short?  
JW**

**No, Fifteen.**

**Are you blonde?  
JW**

**No, Fourteen.**

**Am I definitely going to get a shag?  
JW**

**Yes thirteen.**

**We should arrange a place to meet.  
JW**

**Done, sending you the location.**

John looked down at his mobile as the location flashed up.

**The Arch? You have expensive tastes.  
JW**

**I'm quite happy to pay for the experience.**

**This isn't Mycroft is it? Because I don't think it would be a good idea, not when I live with your brother.  
JW**

**No. I am not Mycroft. Twelve.**

Something clicked in John's head.

**Are you a man?  
JW**

**Yes.**

John felt strange not sure if he should continue. He was straight after all, aside from a little indiscretion in Afghanistan. Bugger it, he thought to himself after all it hadn't been a bad experience.

**John if you don't want to continue this I understand.**

**No,no it's not that. You're not Anderson are you?  
JW**

**Definitely not, eleven.**

**You haven't got grey hair have you? Because if you've tricked me...  
JW**

**No, I'm not Lestrade. Ten.**

**Well you're not Mike.  
JW**

**No, nine.**

John made his way out of the toilets, waved to a grinning Greg and walked toward the hotel.

**Not fair that was a rhetorical question!  
JW**

**It was still a question. Room nine, the key is at reception waiting for you.**

**Do you like to be wooed? I know that's a question, but I'm going to be shagging you in 10 minutes. I want to at least be polite.  
JW**

**I do not require flowers or chocolates. Eight.**

**Do I know you through my work?  
JW**

**Yes, seven.**

**Dimock?  
JW**

**No, six.**

**You're not the nurse at the surgery are you?  
JW**

**No, five. There's a new nurse at the surgery?**

**Yes, he's a nice bloke. I'm a bit stuck. So you're gay?  
JW**

**No, four.**

**Bi?  
JW**

**No. Three.**

John scratched his head as he entered the hotel foyer.

"Mr Watson, here's your key. Your friend is waiting for you in room nine on the 3rd floor." A key card was pressed into John's hand. He looked at the lift and then started toward the stairs he had 3 questions left and he was going to use them.

**You do want to sleep with me don't you?  
JW**

**Yes, two.**

**You're not Moriarty trying to kidnap me again? Not that you'd answer if you were.  
JW**

**No, one.**

John stood at the door key card in his hand. There was one question he needed to ask given the replies to his texts. It wasn't a 'yes' or 'no' question but he was going to take the risk.

**Why do you want to sleep with me?  
JW**

**I love you.  
SH**

John opened the door to find Sherlock sitting on the bed looking nervous.

"I thought you were married to your work." John smiled, closing the door behind him.

"You're part of my work now." Sherlock said before John's lips crashed into his own.


	2. Pay Back

"Right Sherlock, it's payback time." John said as Sherlock handed him Greg's mobile. "You've disabled the tracking function?"

"Of course." Sherlock said with a huff as he sat down.

"Let's start." John said grinning.

**Hello Mr Government. I think it's about time we had a little talk.  
GL**

John left the sofa to make them both a cup of tea. Sherlock fiddled with the phone until it made a strange noise in his hand.

"John?" He said almost dropping the phone.

"Mmmm red alert, I didn't know Greg liked Star Trek." John kissed Sherlock's temple and sat down next to him.

**Good afternoon detective Inspector Lestrade. What is it that you would like to talk about?  
MH**

**How about the obscene way you play with your umbrella. You have extremely nimble fingers and I'd like to see what they can do.  
GL**

Sherlock frowned at John.

"You noticed my brother's nimble fingers?" Sherlock said going into a sulk.

"I couldn't think of anything else. I don't think 'your tweed three piece suit really turns me on' would work." John said pulling Sherlock into a hug.

"You have a point." Sherlock replied as they waited for a return text. John raised an eyebrow as he read the next text.

**Diogenes Club, one hour. Bring the handcuffs.  
MH**

"Oh... I wasn't expecting that." John said flushing slightly. "What are we going to do now?" Sherlock smirked.

"Give me the phone, and try not to laugh." Sherlock dialled Greg's work number.

"Hello." Greg said cheerfully.

"Detective Inspector Lestrade I believe I have something that belongs to you." Sherlock said impersonating Mycroft.

"Oh bloody hell he's nicked my phone again." Greg grumbled.

"I apologise for my little brother, he can be a little trying." Sherlock replied.

"Just a little." Greg giggled.

"You can pick it up in an hour at the Diogenes Club." Sherlock replied.

"Would you like me to bring the handcuffs or the truncheon this time?" Greg asked. There was a pause before Sherlock replied.

"Handcuffs." Sherlock said, a squeak evident in his normally baritone voice. He hung up and looked at John.

"What?" John asked.

"You don't want to know." Sherlock replied. "Tea?"

 

"Sherlock does quite a good impression of you." Greg said as he unlocked the handcuffs.

"A lifetime of experience. Rather amusing." Mycroft replied as Greg pressed a kiss onto his wrist.

"I can't believe Sherlock missed the fact we've been seeing each other." Greg smirked.

"Sometimes the best place to hide is in plain sight." Mycroft grinned.


End file.
